The Journey to… Hair Realisation

As I sat in bed one beautiful evening, I kept thinking of my hair…how far I had come with it, the effort I didn’t put in it and the effort I now put in it. It’s been one hectic and confusing period but I am very proud of my natural hair and the confidence it gives me.

I remember when people used to really like my long relaxed hair when i was younger and how I detested it just because i spent so much time in the salon waiting for hours for my hair to dry and all the burns i used to get from the perming cream. I honestly couldn’t wait to cut it (high school rules). So when I finally did I didn’t shed a tear, for it was such a relief to finally get rid of it. My mum kept my pony tail anyway and couldn’t get herself to put it in the bin.

Many years down the line I am done with Senior High school and I could finally grow out my hair the way I wanted it to be. I had missed it and cried each time i had to cut it low for school. But that was another problem. I had no clue on what to do with my hair. The only thing i was sure about was keeping it natural for a long time and maybe perm it later (which is never going to happen because i now know staying natural is one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life). I wore weaves and kept my hair in braids just to hide my short natural hair and I now regret it. I regret that I couldn’t flaunt my short curly hair. I was scared that people were going to see my flat head and how ugly I looked in short hair. Now I wish I could start all over and walk with my head held up high. If you have started your journey don’t be scared of that big chop or how you are going to look after, wear your hair like a crown.

I went 2 years natural without knowing what to do and hating my hair because it was too ‘bulky’ (now i know my hair had so much volume and there are people buying shampoos just to get volume). I will go to the salon and have to pay more because my hair was ‘a lot’. I couldn’t even keep my natural hair in peace. I was fed up, I couldn’t keep sitting down for 4-6 hours just to get my braids done or straighten my hair just so it looks ‘perfect’ and silky just for it to return to its afro curly-kinky state a day after. I was tired of my hair being unhealthy and tired of all the visits to the salon. So i sat home and thought of how to handle my hair. I used shampoos that smelled good and any conditioner i could find because all i knew how to do was to shampoo and condition my hair. The type of product didn’t matter so far as it smelled good and did the work. For a long time (3-4 years i think) i kept to this routine and didn’t care if my hair was breaking. Then I became enlightened. The natural hair community started to get a voice. Instagram was flooding with kinky afros and curly hair. I had found my place and that is when my journey started. I knew my hair looked like that and needed to get it to look more like the Instagram and YouTube vloggers.

So i did my research and got to appreciate my hair for what it was. I knew my hair was special and different and i needed to care for it like a baby. So I began my healthy hair journey and It’s been great so far. I love that I have become more confident in my natural hair and I just love it the way it is. No more regrets.

You may be out there thinking your hair is too hard and too kinky Android just can’t get your curls defined and pretty like you see on Instagram or YouTube, don’t forget your hair is special in its own way. It’s kinky in it’s own way and curly in its own way. Do what is best for you and your hair. Love it! Care for it! and wear it like a crown! Growing  your Natural hair is one heck of a beautiful journey so don’t rush it. Patience and consistency is key. And water is your bestie.

Photography by: @Ashbel Studios

Makeup by: @reedas_glam

Hair by: Myself @dija_torbay on IG

Please do leave a comment on your natural hair journey and what you know now that you didn’t know before. Don’t forget to like and share this post. ❤️

PS: I used my homemade avocado and coconut milk conditioner to get my curls looking so shiny and moisturized.

4 thoughts on “The Journey to… Hair Realisation

  1. Your hair is everything and this photoshoot was fire. That being said, I had a similar experience as I felt very insecure in high school about my hair. My mom eventually accepted my natural hair journey, but there were times when I just felt ugly having transitioning, fragile hair. I’m now in college and feel sexier than ever and I’m glad others feel the same because hair can really empower someone.


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